We are not our parents

Edit: Please read the following with the light-hearted smiling voice it was written in. My in-laws are some of the most wonderful people I know and I’m proud to have their name.

You would be amazed how many holiday cards we received this year addressed to my in-laws. And yet when I opened them, inside they said “Mic & Chloe”.
My mom chose her last name. It was her father’s mother’s maiden name. She felt a connection to her grandmother and wanted to carry on her name, so she legally changed hers.
And when I was born, it’s the last name I was given.
My mom and I were the only people in our family with that name, and now that she’s gone, I’m the only one left.
So there was very little doubt that I wasn’t giving it up when I got married.

So Mic and I talked. We wanted our kids (if we have any) to have the same last name as both of us — We heard stories of parents having trouble traveling with kids that had their spouses last name — but if I wasn’t giving up my last name, Mic shouldn’t have to give up his either.
So, when we took our marriage certificate to Service Ontario, we BOTH changed our names.
That’s right. Both of us. Please wipe that shocked look off your face Mr. Service Ontario Guy and pull out a second application form for my husband.

I get that it’s the norm for women to change their names, not the men, but there is history attached to both our names. And hell, I’m older so I’ve even had mine longer.
I LOVE getting cards in the mail. It’s one of the few non-virtual interactions left. And if people want to send cards to my husband’s family via our address I will happily pass them on.
But, if they’re for us, please address the envelope to The Whitehorn Gillam Family. We’re making our own history.

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